Tag Archives: surfer

Ketchup

A [lightly edited] excerpt from an email I sent yesterday at 2:15 p.m.:

Last night, I experienced the acute pain of a bluebottle sting. Ummm, my entire leg felt like it was on fire and swelling up, and the pain spread to my groin! How insane is that? Thinking that perhaps I was stung by an irukandji, or was having an allergic reaction to a regular, ol’ hombre de guerra (man o’ war), I called B____ in a panic.

“Is that normal?” I asked.

“Yeah, that sounds… pretty normal, yeah.”

He told me his mum’s remedy, “dating from approximately 1945,” was to apply vinegar, but that he preferred ice. I settled for a bag of frozen veggies. It did decrease the swelling. And made for a funny Instagram. (Well, I think it’s funny.)

Actually, it occurred to me that the laziest (yet perhaps most effective) way of bringing you up to speed is via photographs. So, I am storrowing an idea from the brilliant fellows over at Surfing mag: Here’s some of what I’ve been neglecting to tell you about in a handy gallery of recent Instagram photos:

If, inexplicably, you’re keen for more of my mundane misadventures and mediocre photography, find me: @casebut.

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Science Fails Again & Rob Kelly’s “Film Duty”

Evidently, no one felt the need to place bets on whether Evan (that was his name, right?) was a surfer or not. I’ll just tell you that he… was… not. This experiment has gone poorly indeed. I have felt fewer surfer vibes since I decided to do this ridiculous thing than ever before, which is funny since the waves have been sort of massive lately.

Newly bionic Rob Kelly is beachridden–sorry, Rob–but on the bright side, he had some free time to manufacture this epic video:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Film Duty, posted with vodpod

 

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Experiment Subject Numero Uno

Name: Evan

Borough: Manhattan

Age: Probably 17 years old. (Don’t judge me. This is research.)

Description: 6’4″ish. Light brown, shaggy, ear-length hair. Black Volcom jacket over a hoodie, brown pants, black skate sneaks.

Surfdar Certitude (Vibe Strength): 54.831%

 

Okay, kids. Weigh in!

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Kelly’s Numero Diez y No Hay Surfers en esta Ciudad!

Kelly Slater: Superhuman. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

I mostly just wanted to update you guys on the surfer stalking. I saw one character on the 6 train who I’m 96% sure was a surfer (very blonde and wearing a neon pink t-shirt) but he basically disappeared after getting off at Spring Street. I thought for sure he’d head to Saturdays, but no such luck. He has literally been the only person to set off my surfer-dar since I decided to conduct this massively creepy experiment, but I’ll not be deterred…

In other news, I am going to Tex-ass tomorrow for my dear friend Cody’s wedding and I’m super psyched–even though I’m missing this swellage:

Ah well, let me know how your sessions go!

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Birthday Month and Mad Science

November is what I like to call “Birthday Month.” Not only is my birthday (favorite day of the year, duh) this month, but so are the birthdays of several of my favorite people. Mom, I’m looking at you. The moniker is made even more appropriate (and relevant) by the fact that Water, Water will also be a year old on November 12th.

B.M. seems like the perfect time to get a little eccentric, so I’ve come up with this experiment. It’s based on a crackpot theory I have that surfers can recognize other surfers. I think it’s partly due to instinct, partly to keen observational skills (probably honed by constant lineup vigilance). RVCA hat, toned triceps, deeper base tan than most New Yorkers, less-than-perfect hair: pretty solid indicators. Nothing infallible, however. This is where instinct comes in. We have a vibe. Or maybe it’s a pheromone. Liable to be imperceptible to other species, it signals our presence to those in the know. Much like how bees are genetically capable of sniffing out fear, surfers are genetically built to ID other surfers. I am the best ever analogy creator. Anyway, that’s my theory. So here’s the fun part: I’m going to put it to the test.

For the next month, every time I see someone who my gut tells me is a surfer [within the confines of New York City] I am going to ask. I’m also going to ask if I can take his photo, so that I can post it here for you (all four of you) and maybe–just maybe–it can be like a game. You tell me if you agree with my assessment, and I’ll tell you whether your surfer radar is better than mine. I might rub it in your face if it’s not. But wait… shit. If your radar’s off, that kind of disproves my hypothesis. Whatever, let the creeping on innocent, Billabong-wearing strangers begin!

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I Would Do This Job For Free All Over Again

Today is my last day as a SURFER intern. Last night, I sat on the floor of my sparsely decorated bedroom and packed some movies and t-shirts into a cardboard box. I think I got some dust in my eyes or something.

It's in the mail.

As most of you know, I am an incurable optimist, so I’m trying to look on the bright side. Sure, New Jersey is not as sunny as California, and the waves are quite a bit less consistent, but the water is warmer. So is the air… this time of year. New York is a lot more exciting than San Clement-y. Jersey gas is cheaper (and I don’t have to pump it). Some might call this a con, but I AM TRYING TO BE POSITIVE, HERE. Dan supplied: “Talk is cheaper in NJ. And if you have fists, you have to pump them.” Okay, that works–fist pumping is a hallmark of good cheer. We get epic thunderstorms on the East Coast, not just dreary drizzle. The tri-state area is where most of my friends and family are located. And maybe above all, I only have one semester left before earning my MA and then, theoretically, I can go wherever/do whatever I want. Probably, where I will want to go is here and what I will want to do is this. But we’ll see. The world is an aphrodisiac. Or whatever. Buck up.

P.S. If this is anything like when I left Paris, and I suspect that it will be, you can look forward to lots of cynical posts in upcoming weeks. Hey, at least they might be funny.

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Summertime INNERSECTION

As you guys know, I LOVE Innersection.  Read my

TOP 5

picks for the Summer Round on SURFERmag.com.

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Earth Vibrations and BAC Weirdness

I felt my first earthquake the other night and it was frucking strange.  “Unsettling,” as the lady on the news said.  I mean, isn’t an earthquake unsettling by definition?  Okay, anyway… I was standing in my living room when the entire house started swaying.  Roomie numero dos said, matter-of-factly, “Earthquake.  We should go outside.”

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