I felt my first earthquake the other night and it was frucking strange. “Unsettling,” as the lady on the news said. I mean, isn’t an earthquake unsettling by definition? Okay, anyway… I was standing in my living room when the entire house started swaying. Roomie numero dos said, matter-of-factly, “Earthquake. We should go outside.”
Oh, let me say that I’ve heard about 300 different [conflicting] opinions about what one is “supposed” to do in the event of an earthquake:
- Get under a table to protect yourself from falling debris.
- No, don’t get under a table because the falling debris will trap you there.
- Stand in a doorway.
- No, that’s a structural weak point.
- Go outside.
- Do not go outside; pieces of buildings can getcha there.
I’m an East Coaster; I don’t know which advice to follow! Here’s what FEMA says, if you trust those wieners.
And now for your daily entertainment/internal conflict…
Yesterday, I met a guy who has a mandatory breathalyzer installed in his car. By law. He’s from Arizona, and apparently that’s what they do when you get a DUI… along with sending you to the slammer for a week. A week! Part of me feels like it’s brilliant that the punishment for DUI is so harsh; it’s got to be a strong deterrent. On the other hand, a week in jail with mal-intentioned thugs… what if he only had 2 beers and was exceptionally light? Maybe that is the best way to keep people from driving drunk? By the way, this is relevant is because I met this crook while working (at the Bible) and the whole discovery went down in Orange County: Are you playing a kazoo that happens to be attached to your dashboard? Oh wait, that’s not a kazoo; it’s a personal breathalyzer. “Laugh it up, fuckers,” he said.