A [lightly edited] excerpt from an email I sent yesterday at 2:15 p.m.:
Last night, I experienced the acute pain of a bluebottle sting. Ummm, my entire leg felt like it was on fire and swelling up, and the pain spread to my groin! How insane is that? Thinking that perhaps I was stung by an irukandji, or was having an allergic reaction to a regular, ol’ hombre de guerra (man o’ war), I called B____ in a panic.
“Is that normal?” I asked.
“Yeah, that sounds… pretty normal, yeah.”
He told me his mum’s remedy, “dating from approximately 1945,” was to apply vinegar, but that he preferred ice. I settled for a bag of frozen veggies. It did decrease the swelling. And made for a funny Instagram. (Well, I think it’s funny.)
Actually, it occurred to me that the laziest (yet perhaps most effective) way of bringing you up to speed is via photographs. So, I am storrowing an idea from the brilliant fellows over at Surfing mag: Here’s some of what I’ve been neglecting to tell you about in a handy gallery of recent Instagram photos:
If, inexplicably, you’re keen for more of my mundane misadventures and mediocre photography, find me: @casebut.
There are certain situational phrases we have come to expect that my dad will unfailingly utter. For example, every single one of his sneezes is immediately followed by an expletory exclamation. Whenever he spies a warning sign, he says, “Danger, danger, when you taste brown sugar!” (Ridiculous, I know.) And every time we go skiing, he reminds us, in a theatrically ominous tone, that the mountain is “as cold and lonely tonight…” as it was 300 years ago, or whatever.
Yesterday, it was this very admonition that prompted my brother to say that there’s a movie coming out about being stuck on a mountain- cold and lonely. Frozen is, apparently, this movie. I’m not sure if it looks like Oscar material but it looks interesting, and it inspired a debate over the proper course of action one should take if stranded on a chair lift for (potentially) 5 arctic days:
1. Jump: either land with broken limbs and wait for cougars and wolves, or land successfully and ski on down the mountain
2. Wait out the cold: possibly become a skicicle
It’s a tough choice… I think I would jump, but who can be sure? What would you do?