Tag Archives: tourism

Cough Tea and Electric Toast and GOWs

Yesterday, I ducked into Eu Yan Sang, a historic medicine house in Chinatown, and grabbed a bottle of tea for my cough. Yes, that is correct: Cough tea. The woman who sold it to me said, “Drink once.” And then added, “Your cough. Do not take chicken or egg.” Not that I eat chicken, but this was news to me. I nodded soberly.

Cough Tea

So, for the record, the sugary brew did actually seem to help.

I spent most of the day working on a story before heading off to legendary Little India. To be frank, I don’t see what all of the fuss is about. I mean, there is some quaint, colourful architecture and, yes, an abundance of Indian food. But mostly, there are a lot of dudes walking around in the street and a lot of stores peddling technology on the cheap. Perhaps I missed something. It’s worth seeing, anyway.

From there, I went full-on tourist and took a train to the Singapore Flyer. I reckon if I keep thrusting (went there) myself into situations where I am precariously suspended at great heights, eventually, that tension in my delts will vanish. It hasn’t happened yet. I always pay the $30 excitedly, meander through the pre-ferris wheel display of facts and figures, then look around anxiously at my fellow patrons, hoping for for priests and infants. Or, at the very least, handsome fellas onto whom I can clutch.

This particular giant observation wheel, or “GOW,” happens to be the tallest in the world at 165 metres. It’s a full 30 metres higher than the London Eye, but by my watch, it moves a little slower and feels sturdier. Once I was at the top, I was loving the glorious sight that is Singapore from the sky. So worth the dollars. And they take cards! Post-“flight,” I walked across the DNA (Helix) Bridge to Marina Bay. If you happen to be in the market for some Gucci or some overpriced frozen coffee (which I was, for the latter), go to Marina Bay. Also, if you are hopped up on said coffee, you can seemingly linger here into the late evening hours. The place was bumping well past 9 p.m..

In other news, this morning, I thought a fellow Pillows and Toast Heritage guest was going to electrocute herself while retrieving her toast. With metal tongs. While the toaster was plugged in. I nearly swatted them out of her hand, but she made it out unscathed.

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Bugbee Surf Adventures

IMG_5337If you happen to…

  • be in New Jersey and in the market for some surf lessons
  • have a hankering for an expertly guided excursion into the wilds of Costa Rica
  • find yourself in search of quality Mexican foodstuffs, Dark and Stormies, or sunglasses
  • prefer embarking on adventures (such as those listed above) in the company of knowledgeable, entertaining, and gorgeous ladies

Dot Bugbee is your girl. Check out her newly updated site: Bugbeesurfadventures.com.

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“That man behind you is naked.”

“What?”

I’m laying on the beach in Seaside Park. Katy doesn’t appear to be fucking with me, so I prop myself on an elbow and peer south: Penis. Of the middle-aged persuasion.

Then Speedo. Never thought I’d be so grateful for a Speedo.

As we’re recovering from the shock of such flagrant nudity on a non-nude beach, the guy begins walking determinedly in our direction, sunscreen in hand. No. We strategically avert our eyes and act as if we haven’t noticed. Until he is upon us, glaring sun behind his aged back, in all his Speedoed glory.

He quickly utters lots of German words that probably translate, most nearly, to “Will you please rub this sunblock on my back? I can’t reach. I’m German.”

I find myself speechlessly shaking my head with a dazed and horrified look in my eyes. Jackie glances from him to me and back, amused. Katy grudgingly says, “I’ll do it,” and stands up.

For the entire 30 seconds that she’s applying cream to the nude dude’s back, her expression is one of absolute disgust. Like a vegan confronted with freshly hacked pig flesh. Disgust to the nth degree.

“GermanGermanGermanIndecipherableGermanDankeGermanDanke.” This is obviously the reason he’s unaware that it’s not okay to expose your d at F Street. Fair. Maybe.

He returns to his blanket and lays down. On his back. Katy is bewildered.

She is also from England, visiting our fine shoals for the first time. Welcome to the Land of Enchantment (Jersey totally deserves it more than NuMex).

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