rude | Water, Water Everywhere And Not A Drop To Drink

The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

On Friday morning, I received two wake-up texts from my human buoys. (Thanks, guys.) Unfortunately, the earlier one didn’t wake me up. The one that did said, “2 foot grab ur board.” By the time I got my wits about me, low tide was hours gone, but it was still glassy, not closing out, and the water was w.a.r.m. So warm, actually, that it was flooded with jellies.

“The stinging kind? Or the disc ones?” my friend asked me later.

“The disc ones,” I said, ” and a lot of those ones that look kind of like this.” (I held up one of the beaters from an electric mixer.)

“Nettles?”

“I don’t know, they weren’t stinging me. But they were everywhere.”

It was like surfing in a murky, green Jell-O bath. It was awesome. It was shark week. Continue reading →

When Manners Go Awry

People have been asking me if I’m Canadian.

I don’t say “aboot” or “eh” (very much). That aside, our accents are similar, so I was thinking this was a fair guess.

It’s sort of vital for us “morally indefensible” hustlers (journalists) to be able to put people at ease. I’m decent at making people think I:

a. want to hear their thoughts

b. won’t judge them.

These are mostly true. As a result, strangers ask to join me for meals. They also seem to feel they can confide in me. You’re wondering what this has to do with me being Canadian, eh?

Well, my receptive and amicable demeanor has apparently encouraged a handful of recent acquaintances to reveal that they already suspected I was American; they only asked if I was Canadian(not American) to avoid offending me, on the off-chance that I was, in fact, Canadian. Does anyone else see a discrepancy here?

Water, Water Everywhere And Not A Drop To Drink

Hijinks On The High Seas… And Beyond

Tag Archives: rude

The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

When Manners Go Awry